What to Say to Her When You Propose?

young man holding bouquet behind his back on railroad

You’ve decided that it’s time to pop the big question. You are about to ask the biggest question that you will ever ask in your life. Have you thought about what to say?

Beyond the obvious proposal, you may need to say other words. She will remember this moment for the rest of her life, and probably retell it to everyone who will listen. No pressure.

Check out these tips to make your proposal a moment to remember for a lifetime. She may have dreamed of this moment since she was a little girl, so you owe it to her to give it some thought.

Take a Moment of Reflection

First, take a moment to reflect on your relationship. No, this isn’t part of your proposal but it will help you gather your thoughts. Marriage is a big deal, and you owe it to the both of you to consider where you’ve been and where you want to go.

This first step may also help you with the next step: planning what you want to say. Keep your eyes on the prize. It’s time to put together the biggest speech of your life.

bride and groom in forest

It’s All About Her

Next, remember that the proposal is all about her. True, you are part of this equation, but you want her to agree to your proposal. One way to do this is by letting her know how much she’s made an impact on your life.

Let her know:

  • What you love about her

Do you tell her the things you love about her all the time? Now’s the time to reiterate it. Do you love her generous heart or kind spirit? Maybe it’s her biting humor or sense of adventure? Let her know that you see her by telling her the characteristics that captured your heart.

  • How you’ve changed for the better

Next, this may not apply to you but if it does, don’t be silent about it. She wants to know that she positively influenced your life. So, tell her.

Are you more concerned about taking care of yourself because she leads a healthy lifestyle? Or, maybe you are more adventurous in your eating habits? They don’t need to be huge changes, but they do need to be true changes that impacted your life.

  • The moment you knew she was the One

Is there a special moment when you knew that she was the one you wanted to marry? It’s true that when you know, you just know. Let her in on this moment.

  • What you thought of her when you first met

How did you first meet? Obviously, if this is a sore subject, do not bring it up. However, if it’s a moment you both look at fondly, you can also let her know what your thoughts were when you first met. Have they changed? Or, maybe they’ve gotten stronger?

  • Your shared values and goals, and how they fit into your future

Lastly, you may want to mention how you seem to be a perfect match. Do you share the same goals and values? Have you already talked about what you both want for the future? This is a great segue to the actual proposal.

You don’t need to hit every point above. If you do, your proposal speech may be longer than either of you ever imagined. Instead, use this as a guide. Pick a few relevant ones and run with them.

young happy couple

Get Emotional

Afraid you may tear up? Don’t worry about that. This is one of the biggest moments of your life. Odds are she may be getting a little emotional, too.

Feel out the moment and if emotions are getting the best of you, let them. Opening up your heart and putting yourself in that vulnerable position is one of the best gifts you can give her.

A Little Humor

Is humor your thing? Maybe it’s something you both share? It can be a tension-breaker if it’s appropriate. Now’s not the time to turn into a clown, but you don’t need to stifle what she loves about you.

Think “happy humor” that fits the situation. You may want to save the wisecracks and witty observations until after she says “yes.”

man kneels in front of girl on snow

Be Creative

Did you know that you don’t need to stick to the traditional wedding speech? She may want you to get down on bended knee and utter those 4 little words, but there is no reason why you can’t start off a little differently.

Make sure your creativity matches you and your personality as a couple. If you are a singer or musician, write her a song. Are you a wordsmith? Consider writing a poem or letter.

Does that mean you do away with that time-honored tradition of getting down on one knee? No, but you can set the mood in a creative way first. When she looks over at you, that’s your cue to drop down to the ground and pop the question.

Practice Makes Perfect

Do you need to practice? Yes, you absolutely do! You won’t have cue cards for this special moment. And when it happens, your words may decide to leave your head.

Emotions may be running high, and you may get caught in the moment. Practicing your proposal will help you remember what you wanted to say, and how you wanted to say it.

You would never walk into an important business meeting without rehearsing what to say. Give your proposal at least equal consideration, even if you have to steal moments in the bathroom mirror.

Who knows? While practicing you may find that you need to tweak it a little. It’s better to find out while you practice, rather than in the moment.

couple holding with their fingers

Wrap Up

Proposing to your special someone is one of the biggest moments of your life. And while you may want to go the traditional route, there are some elements that you can add to make it unique. Beyond location and situation, think carefully about what you want to say to her. You both will remember it for the rest of your lives, so make sure you’ve put careful thought into what comes out of your mouth.





Rebecca B. Lawrence

About Rebecca B. Lawrence

Rebbeca has been writing about weddings, jewelry, and fashion for years. Her favorite place to hang out, aside from this website, is Pinterest. She loves Art Deco Jewelry, beach-themed weddings, and anything related to the British Royal Family.